Life In Holland

So, what IS it like living in Holland? Well first of all, an issue of clarification and a brief geography lesson. Holland, refers to a distinct region in the Netherlands. I happen to live in this region so it is appropriate to say that I live in Holland in the Netherlands. The people who live in the Netherlands as well as their language are Dutch. That having been said the Netherlands is one of the three nations that comprise the Benelux (pronounced: ben-i-loo) or low countries, the other two being Belgium and little tiny, Luxemburg. This region of northern Europe is aptly named becuse much of it is below sea-level. In fact large parts of what constitute the land masses of these countries were reclaimed from the sea by draining off what was essentially marshland. Hence, the famed canals. I might also note to some of you (you know who you are) that Amsterdam is not the only city in the Netherlands, it's just the biggest and perhaps most famous.

I live a half hour south of Amsterdam in Den Haag (known to the non-Dutch as the Hague). Den Haag is the capital of the Netherlands, home of the Dutch parliment, the Queen (she's a bit of an anacronism) and the International Court of Justice. The ICJ is the principle judicial organ of the United Nations whose seat is located at the Peace Palace about a mile from where I live (there is a picture of the Peace Palace on my website). This is the place where Slobodan Milosavic is held and is being tried for "crimes against humanity." It's also home to all of the various embassies and consulates of the world's nations. Furthermore, the Hague also has a considerable number of international non-profit organizations located here. All of this combines to make Den Haag a very cosmopolitan city with a considerable expat community.

Yes, yes, Justin... but what is it like? Well, my first impressions were that this city is a wealthy one. Lots of new (and expensive) foriegn cars like Audis, Land Rovers, BMWs, Mercedes, etc. Likewise the area where I live (Centraal) is very modern with lots of contemporary architecture (think smaller skyscrapers) to accomodate the professional types who live and work in the city center. Of course, I only have to walk a couple of blocks before I'm immersed in historical arcitecture including the fantastic Parliment building. Depending on what direction you go, as you get further from the center of the city the more poorer the quarters get. Including area of ethnic slums. So all told it's safe to say that I live in the ritzy part of town. What is strange is that every day I see people walk in to the Muzenplein (our square) and stare up at the buildings and quite often point and take pictures of the buildings.

Now to the Dutch themselves. The Dutch language is very similar to German phonetically and grammatically (don't EVER say that to a Dutch person) but it sounds even more ugly and harsh (mostly due to the ubiquitous hard "ch" sound as in the Scottish "loch"). It's hard to listen to without wanting to make some sort of comment. Similarly, the Dutch are quite formal in manner but are VERY sarcastic. In fact when you ask someone (even in Dutch) if they speak English it's not unusual to get a reply in impeccable English like, "yes, of course, do you?"

But perhaps what is more Dutch than anything else. More than dikes, or decriminalized marajuana usage, or tulips, or wooden shoes are their bikes. Boy do the Dutch love their bicycles!!! It is nearly impossible to underestimate the Dutch love of their bikes. And not just any old bike, no. Not mountain bikes or touring bikes. Plain old "granny" bikes with pedal brakes, big ass seats, and bells. Sometimes they have bikes with windscreens like motorcycles, or little "buckets" for carrying children. Almost all of them have saddle bags to transport miscellaneous whatnot. And they ride in any kind of weather. Since it rains here quite a bit you see people pedaling like mad on their one-gear bikes holding umbrellas and talking on their cell phones. Crazy! But the best part about this popular mode of transportation is how it fits into the pecking order of the mysterious and often misunderstood "right-of-way" which breaks down like this:

At the to of the list is... trams. Do NOT under any circumstances get in the way of these fabulous electricly powered people movers. They won't run you over per say but...
Next are the bikes. HEAVEN FORBID that you step in front of an oncoming bike. Kimberlee actually thinks it's ok to run over little kids on her bike if they get in your way. I, while not sharing in this sentiment, am well aware of the dirty looks and curses on gets if you wander off the sidewalk and on the bike path (easy to do since there often only differentiated by different kinds of cobblestones).
After bikes comes... people, yeah! That throng of humanity blindly stubling around avoiding bikes and trams. I proudly consider this my perferred mode of transport.
Last, but certainly not least, is motor vehicles. It's funny because I'm used to stopping at intersections and waiting for cars to pass before crossing. Not in the Netherlands, here it's perfectly acceptable to keep right on walking without the slightest sign of slowing your gate. Of course, the cars will patiently wait for you but the bikes, the bikes, remember your place in the order man!!!
Of course like any good system of rules there are exceptions (the reason I abhore chemistry) and not knowing these is of course to take one's life in one's hands. So how does one navigate the bustling streets of Den Haag without getting smoked by a tram, trampled by throngs of people coming in the other direction, pasted by bikes, or mangled by cars. Simple, grow eyes in the back of your head and march proudly about, head held high, without any regard for rules at all!!!

With that I will end this magnum opus and continue at a later date. That will teach you to read my damn blog!!